Let Sleeping Dogs...

When someone goads you to do something, when someone tries to push every button you have... what do you do? You can give them what they want and let them effect you in the manner they are attempting, knowing it will only hurt you both more in the long run. Or... you can choose to accept the abuse as temporary and not react to it, knowing the button-pusher is acting out of pain, knowing it is best for you both.

The second is, of course, the ideal. It is a more noble concept and probably best for each individual in the long run. The problem with this "ideal"... is that more buttons get pushed. So many, in fact, that one of those buttons may be something that is shocking and so unlike what the other person is really like, that it forever changes your perception of that person. Then, whenever you see or think of that person, all you see is the button that was pushed. Then you know that they only see you as that button, and probably always have, even if they acted otherwise.

Let's throw another element into the mix. What if the other person is entitled to be angry? What if they deserve to push a few buttons? A lot of buttons? What if you might deserve to have a few buttons pushed? Does it make the abuse excusable? Probably. BUT, there is a line. A line of things that should and should not, ever, be said. The other person should know where that line is. You would hope that they care where that line is, even if they are in pain.

Then what do you do? Do you push those buttons back? Do you say the darkest things in the back of your mind? Even if you know that they cross that line? I think the answer is pretty simple. Do what you can  live with having done years from now, even if it is the hardest thing in the world to do. Do what makes you feel good about the person you are, not what makes you feel good about the amount of pain you caused someone else.